OK, earthmama and others who have asked if I actually communicate with my T how I am feeling and ask for support-- Below is a paragraph from an e-mail I recently sent to my T.

Typically after our sessions I have a clear and very detailed mental recording of the session with which I can rewind and replay repeatedly until I make some sense of all that was discussed. Last session's recording seems to be incomplete and out of focus. Maybe my lack of clarity is because I vacillated among feeling fine, feeling completely overwhelmed, and physically trying to refrain from vomiting. I am hoping that over the next week I can somehow regain my confidence and trust in this process enough to risk sitting on your couch at least one more time. I can’t help but wonder at times if you are deliberately torturing me when you ask questions like--- “What smells? What sounds? What sensations?” Or by making me endure hearing you finish the sentences that I am unwilling to complete. It is hard for me after a session like Wednesday's to challenge the my frequent conclusions that you are sick of listening to me, just trying to get rid of me, and/or that you just don’t give a crap how these things affect me afterwards. If these conclusions are not accurate, I could really use hearing them challenged at this point.

Am I conveying a need for support here? Am I being too needy or demanding? Am I looking for support in the wrong place? Would you reply to a message like this?

I think all I really needed was a simple replay... anything that would have challenge my negativity and helped me flip my perception of the session.
A simple: Got you message, we can discuss this next week...or... Soliaree's T's response... Be still..there is nothing you need to do at this moment, or... I'm here...You need to work through this on your own... stop sending me e-mails...

Maybe its not her job to provide this. Maybe her silence is suggesting that I find someone else to hold my hand and provide encouragement.