(((((((((Freewill))))))))
I'm sorry I don't have an answer for you. I'm in a pretty horrible place myself right now, so let's just try to stick by each other's sides and ride this hellstorm out. 
PM me if you need to talk this out.
Stay safe,
 
J
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"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair."
-Bertrand Russell
With love and hope,
<~/J\~>
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