Halli, I never told because of the shame and guilt. I protected the bas--rds. The shame is still in a part of me but I know I was a child who deserved to be loved and protected and was not. You are and were a child who deserved/s to be protected. Saying that word made me have to stay in the same room with the feelings. That was almost impossible for a long while but therapy has been remarkable. The feelings you had about what was done to you may be the reason that word is so hard. I am sorry, and I think your T is wise. However, if the word triggers you too much you can ask her to slow down because pushing too fast is not helpful either. Good luck.