Wow.....from reading your posting I can see that I have a looong way to go. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm on my fourth year of being away from him. He also was my first love. I still cannot comprehend that he "let me go" so easily. I really did believe we were built for each other. Life without him is still inconceivable to me. Naturally, he's with somebody else (found her almost right away) and he is having the time of his life. I on the other hand have been single all this time. Can't find anybody. I've tried to push myself to like somebody else but it didn't work. I bet you are also afraid of the possibility of leading a lonely life, huh? You want to know how I see the whole thing? I really do feel that the life I lead right now is the one resulting from HIS choice. I am living his choice.