Well, I just got my first "icey stare" at work. One of my ex girl friend's friends that works at my place of business. Ran into her in the hall and the look she gave me cut through me like a knife. I mean my God, I am getting help for my illness and trying to get better then something like that happens to me. I wanted to crawl into a hole.

I would really rather not look for another job right now with everything else going on in my life. But, I don't know how I can stay at my place of business. It is sooo ahrd to get jobs in my line of work as the number of positions is very limited. And I can't leave town because of my kids.

I know that there was no maicious intent on the part of my girlfriend sharing our story. But the impact of people at work knowing is far too great on me. The stress is unbearable. I really wish that my ex girlfriend hadn't done that.

I mean I know I did wrong. I am so guilty, so ashamed... so remorseful. If it isn't bad enough that I face the loss of a relationship, the loneliness now I have to face these "Icey stares" at work. There is no escaping it. I am physically ill... trying to figure out how to manage this stress on top of getting better.