Hi Yinperson,

I'm interested in what you say about projection, which I have always found difficult to understand and you have really helped me - thanks. It might be simplified by thinking that if we are angry we tend to see anger in others, if we are happy we tend to see happiness in others.

One simple exercise that I do (I've mentioned this before somewhere) is to take a walk in town. When I see someone I don't know I smile at them and say 'Good morning' or 'Nice day today'. 90% of the time the person will smile back and say something nice. Even if they have been a bit self absorbed they will snap out of it and be polite. But some people, very few, are just gruff and ignore me or give me a hard look.

Now, the point of the exercise is to fully experience the encounter with polite people and the gruff people. For this to work, the people need to be strangers, so that there is no history between us. To them I'm just a friendly citizen, being polite.

The key here, is that I try to feel their response, and add nothing of my own. If they are polite, it's not my issue and if they are gruff, it's not my issue. I find that doing this exercise now and then reminds me that people are often just the way THEY are and that is not always my responsibility. I'm not to blame for those gruff ones, it's their call.

So refreshing.

Cheers, Myzen.

PS - Of course lots of factors could effect an exercise like this, so I'm not claiming that it's science, just a helpful way to get outside my own issues for a while.