I read the words but I don't see how, how it gets better, how I don't matter, how not everyone wants me hurt.

People always say "hang on for your kids, hold on for them, hold on for your GF..."

Why? They'd all be better off without me. Would be braver and better to do the noble and good thing by just fading away forever instead of trying to kid myself with these ^&$%ed ideals that I mean something or that things would be better with me around. They wouldn't, it's a lie. I know that.

Vlad should be alive, I should be dead. That's how it should be. Why the hell isn't it. I should have vanished a long bloody time ago.

This will probably get deleted or something, it don't matter. Thank you for being so nice but I've gone and messed my entire life up and screwed everyone up.