I haven't posted here since April. The past few months have probably been the longest that I've ever felt decent/okay. I couldn't help but notice the change in myself during those months and I wished that I could stay that way (mentally) all the time. But I think we all know all good things must come to an end.

I think I started going downhill fast last week or so. I can't get myself together: I"m paranoid about everything; I'm always about to cry; my ocd is out of control (not so much the counting this time.. now I have to touch the center of everything... grr); I'm very irritable/moody lately and it makes me feel awful when I'm grouchy to my family (I'm constantly apologizing for it though); I am a complete wreck... I think the biggest problem though is that my worrying is absolutely taking over my life.

I honestly feel that there's nothing/no one in this whole world that could ever help me... no therapist... no medicine... nothing.