I'm going to try ot go to a therapist now. It is just so difficult. And I've come to realize it is mostly my dad and my 2 sisters that are the difficult ones to deal with. My mom is occasionally, but not to the extent of the other 3. My older sister is pretty cool too, but I don't think she'd understand what's going on either because we are just complete opposites.

Anyway, I ended up in another major argument with dad when I got home from work. Basically, I ended up with the worst headache ever, I felt sick to my stomach, so I ended up taking some asprin and sleeping for almost 3 hours this afternoon. Then at dinner I actually wanted to talk rationally to both him and my mom, and he immaturely walked away because he doesn't know how to deal with me.

I'm starting to think that it is the unkind words we use towards one another on a daily basis that might be triggering some of the depression. If I'm not having fights with people, my 1 sister is. She also pretty much blamed me for her and my other sister turning into snarky brats. Like because I got attention for having ADD and needing extra help with school stuff. Did I want that attention? Definitely not, but it is definitely not my fault that my sister is really rude. She always has sort of been that way. But yeah, my family fights constantly, and I can't stand it anymore. I was much happier when I was only around the house for a month at a time due to school and working at a sleep away camp during the summer. It is really sad when you realize all your family does is argue with one another and put each other down. It's ridiculous, and I think I'm going to really work hard to not put people down as much, including to myself.