Hey everyone,
Straight to the point, my depression is worsening, my antidepressants don't seem to be helping, and I'm losing the support of my spouse. They don't want me starting therapy and neither do I but my psychiatrist is advising that I do.
God knows I don't want to cause grief or riffs between myself and my spouse. So how the hell would it help to start seeing another therapist when all it's going to do is cause problems between me and my spouse and if the simple actions of presenting myself to a therapist throws me into panic.
I'm not sure if it's the situation with my spouse that is causing subconscious panic and stress or if it's PTSD from past encounters with professionals. My spouse and I have spent many hours discussing the situation but there is no changing the outlook they have regarding therapy.
This is such an impossible situation that I am leaning towards doing nothing. You know, keep the peace and all will be well. My psychiatrist will be disappointed but my spouse will be relieved. All in all I truly don't care if I 'please' either one of them, all I care about is how much worse my depression is getting. It's on a downward course and nothing seems to be helping, obviously my meds need to be changed before my thoughts of self harm become actions. Not that I have actively been thinking about self harm, it has just been fleeting thoughts or psychotic thoughts brought on by the depression. So no need to worry.
Just venting, Alonian