Headline 1:

Queen Elizabeth II Announces She's Pregnant Again
Queen Has Already Purchased Mini Polo Sticks, Horses

Headline 2:

Mob Not Angry at Monster, Just Disappointed

Ceamurlia, Romania -- Clearly frustrated by the third disheartening rampage on their town this week, a band of of perturbed, torch-wielding villagers gathered at the gates of Benedikte Cojocaru's castle Monday to confront the monster that had left a trail of inappropriate destruction and chaos, in hopes of communicating how let down they all felt by his murderous actions, sources said...