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pinksoil said:
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Simcha said:

Did it make you upset that he didn't reciprocate or?


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Of course it did-- that's the whole rejection factor. Cognitively, I know what is ethical, beneficial, appropriate, etc.. But feelings and cognitions rarely match and that's why a lot of us are in therapy-- and that is why T wants me to think about why the validation of my own feelings are so dependent upon his disclosures.

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I've never had erotic transference, and I really don't understand it, so maybe I'm completely off. Is it possible that you don't feel worthy or good about yourself unless he reciprocates the erotic transference?
But... cognitively you know he can't reciprocate, so maybe you were trying to subconsciously sabotage the relationship with deeply held negative reinforcement of ideas of love and trust? I also notice a lot of people with erotic transference issues that have spoken about it openly here on PC (brave people), also seem to have stopped focusing on the problems that brought them to therapy, and instead focus on the relationship with the therapist. I wonder why this happens?

My T isn't a psychoanalyst though, and works from a more "modern" (if that's what we want to call it) perspective (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Rogerian CBT, Interpersonal CBT etc.) I don't know, but maybe it's because I have ADHD, and therapy for people with other disorders seems to be very different. My mind doesn't work like non-affected people, and I don't process data the same way. Traditional non-CBT style psychotherapies don't really work with ADHD people that well.

To me, this is an interesting phenomena. What are your thoughts? Am I just abnormal (well, I know that )