Growing up is a process, and it is different for everyone. I'm not sure there is really a distinct point where one can say that now they have grown up. The focus in human development has traditionally been on children and adolescents, but now it is recognized that development is continuous throughout life. If we are still living, I think that we are still "growing up."

That said, I am different in a lot of ways from when I was a teen. Although I was 19 19 years ago, a lot of my most significant changes have happened in the last 5 years. I was never a typical teen. I was not allowed to grow up or be independent or think that I could take care of myself. Five years ago my depression and lack of autonomy got to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to die, but for some reason I chickened out and did something else instead. After that, I started changing, and started to make effort to take charge of my own life. The changes have been slow and gradual and have taken a lot of hard work and I'm not finished yet. It doesn't happen automatically. Passage of time alone doesn't do it. Experience and effort and exploration and getting to know yourself are how people grow up.

I'm still socially awkward. It wasn't ever a normal teenage phase for me. I was never a normal teenager. I still have a lot of work to do to become confident and independent. Maturity, however, is relevant. We become more mature than we were, but how do you compare one person's maturity to another's?