((((((((((( pink ))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))
(((((((((((( angel ))))))))))))

Thanks.

The short version of how today turned out is that we talked on the phone for a while this afternoon, and I am feeling WAY better.

I sent him an e-mail and told him that I usually bring "young me" to session - she gets nurtured, she gets the marble, it's okay for her to have needs and have them met. It felt like today "grown up me" showed up, and she's the one with the erotic feelings. I told him I'm just not ready to go there yet - I am afraid that "young me" will lose all of the caring and nurturing she gets there. We talked about the e-mail on the phone. He totally got what I was saying, and said whoever shows up for session is absolutely fine. Young me will still be nurtured and cared for. I told him I am NOT going to be bringing "grown up me" back anytime soon. Tried it out, didn't like it. At all. He said that was fine. He reassured me that nothing between us has changed. I could feel our normal connection on the phone, and it felt really good.

He was worried I would "spiral down" this weekend thinking about this, so he called back and left me a voice mail to listen to if I need reassurance over the weekend.

I feel better. I feel like it's moved our connection to an even deeper level, and like everything is going to be okay.