I have been in my own private hell lately. It got so bad in the last few days. that I thought I was going nuts. Maybe I am. Every waking minute has been just too much too bare.

I got all kinds of forms from SSI to fill out and send in awhile back which stressed me out. Then, after 7-8 years of going to the same clinic, I got a certified letter from them basically telling me that they were dumping me. Then, there's the incident with the bat (or whatever it was) flying over me which triggered a MAJOR anxiety attack. Then, this one forum I go to once in a great while deleted my post and I have NO idea why but I was really shocked and hurt by it. Then I get a very sarcastic letter from my father which triggered another panic attack. These are just a few things.

My current symptoms include this feeling like my head/mind/brain is in a jar of thick, cloudy, vasiline. I just feel really "foggy headed" and my eyes feel kind of "buggy". My eyes go from watery to very dry and many mornings there is a white-ish film of dried tears on my lower lids and even on my cheeks. I sometimes get these tingly/prickly sensations (not too often though) on my scalp. The pollen count is super high in my state right now and I have all kinds of sinus problems so I don't know if some of these scary sensations are caused by this, anxiety or some disease simmering in me.

So I have been getting up each morning and popping a Xanax. Later, I start in on the Atenolol and maybe some Neurontin. Then I gulp down 2-3 cups of coffee and a big gulp of NyQuil. So I'm pretty strung out all day PLUS the anxiety is eating me alive and no doubt I'm also experiencing side effects/withdrawl from various meds. It's a roller coaster. Is it my "disease"?. Is it my anxiety?. Is it the meds?. Is it withdrawl from the meds?. What was that sensation I just felt?. What does this funny feeling mean?. It goes on and on.

Anyway, thank's for listening. Gosh, I would'nt wish this on my worst enemy. Ahhh!!!

EDIT: And to boot, it looks like I may have posted this in the wrong spot...sorry.