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That wasn't a case of jumping to conclusions. I mean, it was pretty obvious who she was talking about. It only hurt because I had a sense that she really liked me. Had I never talked to her and heard this, it would have been just another one of countless comments I've either heard or had told to my face such as "you're a nice guy BUT". (I could write a book on rejection quotes) I'm now 43 and I can't live my entire life being just friends with women. I'm human and I would like to know what love, affection, and other things are like before I die. I have the saddest gut feeling it will never happen. It's not like I'm 20 and saying this, I'm in my 40s and that is pathetic.

Anyway, the last thing I want to do is start another situation like the last time. Every person who's responded to this has shown that they really do care and it means a lot to me.

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You misunderstood me. When I said you were jumping to conclusions, I meant about you saying she doesn't like you. She never said that at all. She said you had a great personality. Well Gary, THAT'S what you need to start a friendship. Looks won't get you a friend. A friend is someone you can talk with. You can't talk to good looks, but you can talk with someone with a great personality. For her to see that in you, she is also saying that she likes talking with you. The best romantic relationships are first built on a friendship. You're NOT a bad looking guy as you think you are. There are plenty of people in this world who have a SO who are not attractive. How do you think that happened Gary? You have to start by being a friend. What good is a relationship if you can't talk with a person. Relationships are built from personalities. You have to start there.

Gary, I really think you need to go for therapy to help with your self-esteem. Your appearance is only one portion of who you are but you're making it the most important. If you could exude more positive vibes, then that in itself would make you more attractive to people regardless of your looks, which are not as bad as you make them out to be.

Is this woman, who clearly likes talking with you, who hasn't rejected you, that you are rejecting out of fear that she will, worth throwing away all the positive changes that you had made recently? I think you are looking for a romantic relationship before you are looking for a friend but it doesn't work that way. You need to start with friendships. Some friendships can blossom into more but you are giving up before you can even nurture this acquaintance into a friendship.

If you're giving up, which you clearly say you are, I guess that means I need to give up too!!! Geez, and I was hoping that someday my own life may change. I guess not. I guess I need to give up too.