Hi AuburnGirl, it is so painful to learn these things about the ones we devoted so many years to, all in good faith, and then find out that to some extent, it was one way. ((((hugs)))) (I had a similar situation in my marriage.)

I suggest seeing a therapist for support and help with how to move on. You might look for one who likes to work with people going through divorce and other life transitions. (My current therapist has a bit of a specialty in divorce and has helped tremendously. Before him, I saw another therapist and didn't make much progress on moving on.)

What do you mean, you wanted to do the right thing? You mean in the marriage? Or in the divorce?

Take care.