I'm sorry, I don't have a positive opinion about him changing. I divorced a man who could be your husband's identical twin. Mine never manged money and put all the burden on me. I nearly had a nervous breakdown (I did have two miscarriages). I now suffer with fibromyalgia because of all the years of stress (17). He married two more times after me and they both saw him for his true self in less than one year. Both hate him worse than I ever did. He has not changed in the 10 years since our divorce. I hate divorce too but it was either that or I would not be here today. Get counseling and don't put up with his emotional abuse. The alternative is better than the damage to you. Take care.