thank you you two. idk its hard for me to endure these feelings because i swore to my parents i never had them...i dont want anything to with feelings of suicide or slitting my wrists in order to "give me what i deserve" it just feels like its not me. the only thing that has stopped me is the consequences of the acts....thinking about my family and friends and how it will affect my daily life having to cover up the scars i will produce.....
those consequences were the reason i wouldnt even think about cuttnig and now the feelings are stronger and more convincing...esp when i feel guilty of hurting someone.....im struggling on the inside and havent grown the confidence to tell my T about it......when really, thats who i need to come to my rescue at a time like this...whats her purpose if i cant tell her whats realy bothering me, i got for an hour and gossip about whos been on my nerves that week...when on the inside im dying to tell her that i think i wanna start to cut...