Hi Sarah, I am sorry that you are in distress about this. I wasn't adopted but my mother was very narcissictic and didn't pay too much attention to me. I grew up thinking that I wasn't too valuable because of this but I overcame it. What helped me to overcome it was to realize that she treated me this way not because of what my true value was but because she had problems that she didn't deal with. Maybe your birth mother wanted you to have a better life than what she could provide for you? Do you know the circumstances? I'll bet she grieved giving you up.

An adoptee who was a psychologist told me that he believes that children who are adopted grieve because they are already attached to their mothers when they are born. They have been listening to her voice and heartbeat in the womb and already know her and then she disappears. This grieving is never recognized so it is never completed by the adoptee.

I am so happy that you were adopted by a good and loving family.