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april15 said:
It sounds like you are testing your T to see if he really means what he says. Are you hoping that the erotic transference is enough to make him let you slide on the SI contract?

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I don't believe erotic transference is a "reward" for T to "make him let me slide" on a contract.

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If he is any good,

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He's very good.

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he will not allow you to stay when you tell him that you SI'd over the limit that the two of you agreed on. If he lets you stay, then the whole contract has been meaningless.

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I'm not sure if you actually read my posts, but there was a bit more ambiguity in the "deal" than just a specific number. As I said, it has more to do with what I am doing in terms of trying to connect, rather than the amount.
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As a therapist yourself, you must realize this. Boundaries and consistency are important. How could you trust him if he let you slide?

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Because he isn't "letting" me do anything. I am responsible and accountable for my own behavior. Staying in the session was something both of us decided on because we both thought it would be more benficial. Geez, my T isn't a behaviorist.
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At some point, you chose to SI more than your alotted number, so in effect, you chose the consequences. If he lets you stay, he is basically telling you that there are no consequences in place, which inevitably means you aren't really safe because he doesn't mean what he says.

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Wow, you really draw a lot of conclusions. You are right in that I chose to SI-- however, situations are a lot more complicated and delicate than just kicking someone out because they went over a certain number. The work that we did yesterday in talking about maintaining a connection when the urges come up, was a lot more beneficial than getting sent home. Again, it is something that we decided together-- and that is normally how decisions are made in a therapeutic relationship, if the therapist is "any good."