A decision to get married has to be one of the most optimistic leaps of faith that people can make. As such it's a transcendent act, one that links us to something bigger than our physical existence and time in this world.

I remember my thoughts around my wedding - I wanted everyone (and I included people I had not met, would never meet, and people I might meet some time in my life) to know that the person I was marrying meant that much to me, that that's how special and important they were to one other person in this world.

The problem with marriage certificates and vows is the thinking that they are somehow permits that have the same value as any other legal document or law. Actions can be legislated for, feelings can't, and it's feelings - a devotion to the other person and the ideal of two people being together- that create a marriage. A marriage is many things, but some kind of inviolable structure that protects people from all outside and inside forces? No, no, and no.