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RACEKA said:

I have a question I've been wondering about. It's kinda personal. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I won't be offended. What does your H think about your relationship with your T? Do you talk to him about it at all? Just curious.

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I'm glad I can brighten your day a bit. My H is intimated by my relationship with T; I know that. I always suspected it, but it became quite evident in an argument that we had a couple of weeks ago. We were arguing about something or other, and H made a comment, "Why don't you go talk about this with T? I'm sure you get along with him REALLY well-- you ALWAYS listen to him."

I have absolutely no animosity towards H for feeling that way. He has absolutely no experience with therapy, and cannot be expected to understand what the relationship is like. If H had a female T and they had a close relationship, I would probably feel jealous and intimidated, too.

I don't talk much about therapy with H. He is always open to hearing if there is something that I want to share with him, but ulimately, it is a very private experience (except for here on PC, lol), and H respects my privacy.

H has never directly admitted the feelings that he has, but it is very obvious to me, especially after he made that comment. H has a hard time because he feels that he tells me things and I don't "listen," but that T tells me the same things and I "listen" to him.

Ultimately, I think a lot of it comes with H's desire and failure to "fix" what is wrong. I have spent a lot of time telling him that it is not possible for him to resolve my problems... especially those that existed before I met him. Hopefully, this is something that will come up in marital therapy. Perhaps we can work on it.