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MissCharlotte said:

I told him I was already worried about his vacation and in particular, worried about the potential for rupture afterward and he asked me what I needed. So, I have to think about that because I am not sure. Wow, it's a lot, isn't it?

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And perhaps this is the very thing that will make a difference. Think about how much stronger your relationship is since his last vacation-- and how much it is has sustained. This time you have the awareness of what could potentially happen-- so unlike last time, you are taking the steps to prepare for it. So maybe that is part of what you need-- of course there are transitional objects, phone messages, and all of that good stuff.. but also, maybe what you need is just the processing of how and why this time can be different than last time.