'I'm made of stone, I'm behind a wall'
I've been there and it's really lonely and frightening (and deceptively safe).
I'm glad you're in T. Trust the process and try to trust yourself. And when you don't have faith in yourself let the T's faith carry you through until you have enough of your own. For me I had to first realize I was human, now I have to work on tearing down that wall one brick at a time. It's not easy but I'm thinking it's worth it.