I spent most of today in tears. My whole life, I've been told that I have no right to feel pain, no right to have my own feelings at all, but to think only of other people's feelings. Today, a bit of my heart was revealed, and now it feels like it was flayed open. I feel like the worst person to ever walk the face of the earth. And right now, the only thought in my head is that many others would agree with that assessment.

My hands are shaking as I type this, because even now, I don't feel like I have the right to say that I was hurt. But I am desperately trying not to lose every single bit of progress I've made over the past three years. I know it will return to me, but for tonight, I feel exactly like that scared, shaking, crying soul who couldn't get out from under her covers.

I am sorry for everything.