Peet - I don't blame you for feeling dreadful. You've been betrayed ..... again! He says he loves you, yet he sneaks around, choosing a woman who is potentially in a vulnerable state (ie. recently divorced). Well, he seems to know which ladies to go after. You have to hand it to him, he knows how to troll for women.

I just wonder how many more there were (or are). Since he lied to you when you had proof, why wouldn't he lie (or perhaps, fail to mention) to you any other "dalliances". Perhaps he just forgot about any others.

I'm sorry for being tough on him. I just don't get it. Didn't he consider what he could possibly be bringing home to you? The are a number of nasty bacteria and viruses exchanged by "the best of people". How could he say he loves you after doing something like that .... twice! .... (at least). It sounds more like he is saying, <font color=red>"I don't want you to leave because I am selfish. I want you to stay because you are stable and dependable and I can rely on you to maintain my lifestyle, so that I look more appealing (ie.deceivingly; as more wealthy) to my prospective sex partners Besides, if you left, who could I fall back on when my other conquests aren't available?"</font color=red>

I am a guy, and I don't believe him when he says that he loves you (even though I do not know him or you). I have seen a lot of guys and gals cheat behind their spouse's back. I do not understand it. I find it hard enough to please someone I love and adore (my wife), than to have the energy to actively (or even passively) seek outside attentions. Maybe it is just me, but the guilt and shame of keeping this kind of secret would tear me apart.

Maybe it is because I respect my spouse, and I truly believe that she respects me, that I feel no need to have my ego stroked in such a way. Besides, it takes a fair bit of time to train a new partner to know what you like. Why would anyone want to go through that hassle, again?

Then again, if he lost you he'd be hard-pressed to find another maid/valet who will pay him, while allowing him to potentially infect her with an incurable disease of one kind or another. This is probably what he is afraid of losing. This is so selfish on his part; obviously he does he not care about your feelings.

I may be totally wrong about your relationship. God knows, I am a guy; and in growing up and learning about relationships, I was always the last to know that it was in trouble. Hell, I didn't even realize (care?) that women had feelings until I was 25. I am 41 now, and have been married for almost 14 years. I have had opportunities to stray, but in none of these "opportunities" were benefits of a falsely inflated ego and a (probable) quick orgasm ever more than the emotional harm that I would cause my wife and myself. I don't think that I am being so much "holier than thou", than that I am too lazy to want the hassle of sneaking around.

My opinion, for what it's worth - Cam


<font color=orange>"Sometimes you may be shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right"
- Robert Hunter</font color=orange>