It makes me feel like I have to deny the compliments. With the modesty I learned growing up, it seemed somehow boastful or arrogant to readily accept compliments. So I sometimes deny them or shunt them aside or say, "but you're so much better," or whatever. As I've grown through the years, I've tried to stop this learned behavior, as I know there are things about myself that are worth complimenting and people who shunt compliments aside can be annoying (false modesty, can't take praise, etc.)! But still, it's hard. I often feel so screwed up that it seems almost laughable to think a compliment is due me. Like, who are we kidding here, lol!

When T compliments me, it can be especially hard, because, like ECHOES, I can feel like grinning and that seems inappropriate! So I try to contain my joy just as I try to contain things like sadness when they come up. I am trying to get better about this and not contain so much, but it's hard! And when he says the nice things about our relationship, that is even more hard. Oy.