Usually, compliments set off the warning bells for me, I guess if someone can notice something good, they can notice the bad stuff too. And of course, I wonder what "payment" I'll be asked to give for the compliment. But over the course of my therapy, we've talked about the limited range of emotions - happy or sad - that I allow myself to feel or express. My therapist talks about the parent's role in helping a child modulate their feelings - happy or sad or angry or whatever. So if your parents didn't join you when you did something really well - you kind of don't know how to handle that surge of pride or joy or whatever. Mutual regulation between a parent and infant leads to the infant growing up learning how to regulate themselves.

It has taken me a long time, but often I'll now share in therapy when something goes well, or I do something right. And I'm not totally terrified that he'll leap out of his chair and exclaim, "Great! You are cured. Now go away." (not totally...just a little...)

But not being able to accept compliments is not unusually pathological, I don't think. It seems really common for people, all the hidden stuff about it not being polite to agree with someone that you are great at something, etc.

One of the best things I learned when my kids were small was to take pride in their accomplishments but not own them. So when someone would say, "wow - your son is really sweet," instead of replying "thank you" - I now say, "yes, I think so too." And I repeat the compliment to him when ever possible.