Trust me, i have to work very hard to try to stay positive. self preservation. whatever it takes at this point. honestly i dont feel so strong although everybody tells me lately that I am strong. after 15 years of marriage, my husband wanted to call it quits because I am bipolar and he cant hande me. he told me i abused him for years. then he decided he wanted to make it work. Now I am dealing with abuse from him and he thinks that this is ok. I am beginning to wonder if he ever truly loved me or if I loved him. Its been a hard couple of months. contemplating my demise on some days and grateful for a breath the next.

I do what I have to. even if it compromises my relationship at this point. I have to keep it all about me right now. It really sucks to be a prisoner of your own mind. Its like the life sentence without the life in it.

I just thank god for these forums, my supportive mother. (who is not really my mother, but Ive adopted her) by far the one and only reason i am as strong as I appear. Dont judge a book by its cover. I am just glad to be of help to you.

keep on keepin on. do what feels good. Now if we only had the key to open that prison door. we would all be happier.
Hope this helps if only a bit.
Colleen