I REALLY don't know where to post this. Feel free to move it. I just need to vent and hopefully get support.

I have an 8 y/o with autism/aspergers. We homeschool and I have never really just dropped him off anywhere before - he is very inquisitive and very "in his own head" and really doesn't care at all if he is with a group, so I have to keep a very, very, very close eye on him everywhere we go. If he sees something interesting, off he goes! He's gone in the blink of an eye ,literally.

He went to summer camp today. It is every day this week from 10 - 3. Today they are hiking in the woods, doing ropes/repelling, things like that. It is a camp that specializes in kids with autism and there is a 1:2 adult to child ratio. But I am still just literally sick about it.

I took a xanax, which I guess must have taken the edge off, but I'm still reverting to other "coping mechanisms" which are unhealthy and stupid.

My anxiety level is so, so, so, so high. I almost can't breathe, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I don't even know if this makes any sense to anyone, I know it's hard to understand probably if you're not this particular kids mom....but I figure at the very least people on this board understand anxiety.

I have T at noon, thankfully. Maybe he can talk me down? I don't know, I literally feel like I am barely coping.