This is my first time to write a post. I have responded to a few posts but never wrote one myself. Please bear with me.

I got an email from my sister today that was a real trigger for past memories of child sexual abuse. I only began having these memories the last 15 years. Up till then I couldn't remember anything of my childhood from birth to age 10. Not all the memories I have recovered are bad memories but a few of them are. This past few months I've been having 2 memory flashbacks all the time. I asked my sister for accuracy since she remembers those years. She confirmed that indeed the perpetrator was at those places at that time. She asked me to "sit" with these memories and see what more I can learn from them. She wants me to contact my inner child that was abused and help her heal. I am worried that if I "sit" with these flashback/memories I will become overwhelmed and resort to SI in order to cope. I don't have a therapist right now to help me work through these feelings. My family doesn't know about my SI (except they see the scars and wonder what happened; most of my injuries are where you can't see them) I began SIing in college and have continued for the past 25 years. I don't want to choose SI as a coping mechanism for these flashback/memories. The flashback/memories just produce intense feelings and I become overwhelmed. Help me choose a better coping mechanism. How can I handle the intensity of those feelings?