OIC. Yes - I understand - I took a Reiki course and dealt with much the same.

"I sometimes think by ability to tolerate the intolerable is what gets me into a lot of mental trouble later. "

Now I'm not sure if I should say "Good for you for getting through it" or not. That exact thing - tolerating - got me into great trouble just two weeks ago... well, often truth be told. I'm not sure if it falls into the "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" category, or if it only causes more PTSD to be heaped on the ever-growing pile that then allows t to say to me "You're not nearly as functional on the inside as you appear to be on the outside".

Hope you're alright - kiya