Indicated in my original post, I wrote this to process and sort out some of the things I wanted to discuss with my therapist. Then I followed it up by a description of my session. As carefully as I look for where I asked for judgements about my therapist and our contract, I cannot seem to find it.

Instead of generalizing, maybe you should read into what I am feeling. Some of you were quick to say that my T was screwing with the boundaries, safety, trust, etc. Just because you might be someone who is extra sensitive to those things, does mean that I am. I am comfortable with the boundaries in my therapy, I know I am safe there, and I trust my T pretty much as must as I can trust someone-- so I don't get triggered or shaken up by these types of changes... to me it does not represent inconsistency; rather, it represents flexibility and mutual decision making.

My reasons for SI, my relationship with my therapist, and my personality, are much more complex than a contract. Some of you asked what the point of it was. Well, it was the only thing that got me to stop SI'ing for five weeks. Before that contract, I had SI'ed every single day for nine months straight. Last night, I concentrated on what T and I talked about-- I wrote him an email and left him a message in order to maintain my connection to him, rather than SI'ing.

I also wonder why you are so passionate about calling my T unprofessional and pointing out that he handled it "wrong." I am very comfortable with the way my T and I are going about this-- and if it works for me, I should think that's what matters most.

Oh, and you are right-- I can always talk about sex with H and erotic transference-- but it isn't a matter of it being in the "next session" because I should have gotten kicked out as a result of my behaviors-- it is about the open, authentic relationship that I share with my therapist.