Hopefully he'll cool down and be there for his daughter.

I and my ex-husband get along great and I think it's made a big difference in raising our son. We talk, both stick to discipline (from house to house), we sit next to each other at ball games.

It wasn't like this at first. When you first break up it's hard to be civil, but you've got to try especially for your daughter. My ex was physically abusive, I've had my share of black eyes and bloody noses. When you have children involved you have to look beyond your hurt for the best interest of your child.

Hug your daughter a lot and re-asure her that her Daddy still loves her.

Try to talk to him about seeing her, explain to him how hurt she is. Write him a letter, you can get your true feeling on paper, a verbal discussion usually leads in a heated argument. You can get everything "out" on paper. And stick to subject (your daughter), you have to put your feeling aside.

Maybe you can have her drawl him a picture. Help her write a letter in her hand writting (I know that would be hard but you can guide her in what letters to write). Tell her he's away right now and you'll send it to him. And really send it to him. I think it would be good for the both of them.

I have been through two kinds of divorces.

1. My parents; bad divorce, it was nasty, to make a long story short, my brother and sister have drug problems and I think we all have some kind of emotional issues. My husbands and his ex are very uncivilized and it shows in there son, he's also 11 like my son. Their son has a lot of behavior and emotional problems.

2. I and my ex-husbands; My son is a very happy 11 year old. We've been divorced since my son was 2.

It makes a BIG difference in the childs life and who your child becomes.

Child support is a whole other issue. I also work this out with him, we came to a verbal agreement. When you are dealing with money, emotions can be raw. Don't try to suck every last penny out of him, he has to survive too. If you are compationat about his survival too then he will be more willing to support his daughter (finantialy and emotionaly). My way of think with child support is very unconventional.

I'm really sorry this was so long!

Good luck and if you have any question don't hesitate to ask.