I feel the urge..it is so strong right now..

I'm thinking to much, waaaay to much for my own good...so many fears coming forward.

of course watch me screw up now, that is all I am a screw up.

Ever since the car accident I have problems with people leaving, I can't explain why, I just do.

The time is coming for three of my closest friends to move out to there dorms, I fear if they leave they won't come back, that I will be forgotten, that something bad will happen, I'm being stupid, I'm being childish, I'm so %#@&#! stupid. They are my biggest supporters, they don't always understand but they stand by me, they know when to ask questions and when to just be there. Now their not going to be there all the time, it's hard, it would all go smoother if I started college at the same time but I don't I start the week after.

It's more than just this, I've just been feeling so lost, I dddon't know what to do anymore with myself, I feel so weak, so sad, I don't understand it. everything I do creates guiilt, I'm guilty for so much, guilty guilty guilty,

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm whining and taking up others time, I feel so bad I haven't been as supportive to everyone here as I could be, Like I said I'm a screw up. Sorry.