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In all the friends homes I have been in growing up and in my adult years, I have never seen the kind of things that went on in our home. I was afraid of teachers, afraid to make a mistake, and it carried into my adult life. I am still struggling, and trying hard. When my Dad acts like this, which is almost daily, I just can't go to their house. I can'e take it!! As the years go by, and my little grandkids are around, I don't want them to hear the things he says. So, my Mom is wondering why I haven't been there since Christmas, even though, deep down she really knows.

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Hi CJR,

That's my story too, I'm sad to say.

It's a long way back in the past for me, but has been the single biggest influence in my life. The experience of seeing other people's families, realising that they don't live in constant 'tears before bedtime' conflict is so overwhelming.

My father's behaviour was never challenged and it never eased up. People, including his own siblings, avoided him like the plague, but we were his prisoners. He's dead now, but his influence lives on of course, which is why I'm writing this.

The positive thing to come out of the situation is when we realise how strong we have been to survive being planted in such poor soil, and the great empathy for other's suffering that we can have when we have had it hard ourselves.

Cheers, Myzen.