I feel for you. I lost 3 grandparents this past year and it is still hard to believe (My grandfather and grandmother died within 5 months of each other). Even more so is that my grandmother not being here. We were so very close and I miss her every day and talk about her like she is still with us physically. Saturday will be a year and I am still in disbelief. But, i will tell you, it really does get easier. I know it doesn't seem like it will, as i did not think so...but some how, it does...even just a little bit is progress.

I am sharing this so you understand that others can relate. I agree that she would want you to live a full, happy, healthy life. Try doing things that you know made her happy for you...could be as simple as playing a specific sport or hobby that made you happy. I got back into tennis and she was so happy that I did, so now when I play I feel as though I am "making her happy to". I hope you know what I mean.