You've got my support Hcab. Please don't be afraid of yourself! It will be okay if you just keep working. Have you considered doing any inner child work? I have seen people on these types of boards who have always disliked themselves, especially as children, because this is when their lives were the toughest (and when the adults in their lives were making them feel the worst about themselves). You cannot take care of yourself if you dislike your inner child. You must love and embrace your inner child and then you will be able to comfort and care for yourself and your fears will be much more conquorable.