Jonathan and I talked some more yesterday. He told me I can't tell Jon about J.T. He says that he and Jonny will take care of it. But doesn't Jon deserve to know that there's someone dangerous up there? Someone who wants to hurt him, hurt me? Why do they need to keep it a secret?

I told Jonathan that I would defend myself if I needed to. I don't ever want to hurt them, but I will hurt the body if I have no other options. That makes me feel SO BAD... Jonathan says he understands and that he'll explain it to Jonny.

Then Jonathan told me that fighting this J.T. guy could kill either he or Jonny. That scared me - is he just afraid or can alters be killed by other alters? If that's the case, then I wish the guys would save their energy to protect Jon from J.T. and let me handle myself on my own. They tell me the guy's a psychopath...but they didn't know me before I started getting help.

It's only the civilized part of me that's afraid of him. I was crazy once, too, and I think I can get there again if I have to. If I try to stay sane, then I'm going to be afraid and I won't want to hurt Jon. THAT'S when I'D get hurt. If I can meet him equal on the field of madness...? Certainly, it's better odds.

And then the rest of the time, everything is as wonderful as always.
Thanks for listening...