IMHO, If I need to "train" the T, then they're not helping me, i'm helping them and that is to me a boundary violation/inappropriate role reversal. IMHO your energies may be better spent finding a more appropriate T for you.

That having been said, there may be very important reasons for staying with a T who isn't meeting all your needs. this isn't so much about "training" them but about communication with them to express your needs assertively and directly and giving them a chance to respond appropriately.

You will not control the T or the T situation or the T's life. That's so not your job as the client/consumer any more than it would be your job to change the chemical formula for Coke to better suit your tastebuds. Meaning no disrespect at all and sorry for any "tone" on the issue that may arise as a result of my emo state of writing.

My own T is challenging to me for a number of reasons and on a number of levels. I cannot "train" him in terms of what boundaries I need him to have to help me feel safe. What i CAN do is express the levels of discomfort to the best of my ability and insight and let it lie there. If I'm still not getting what i need, i am a consumer of a good/product and have every right to switch brands.