chaotic, I can hear how hard it is right now. I am glad to hear your have good support from your friends now. That is so important.

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chaotic13 said:
I was just too tired, unfocused and mentally fatigued from my reactions to the last session, dealing with the course this weekend, and the typical crap I deal with daily to attempt more self discovery this week.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Did you know that not every session has to be really intense and deep, about self discovery, working on trauma and other difficult topics? Sometimes we go to therapy just for support. Hopefully your T can follow your lead on this, and if not, you could tell her directly. For example, my last two sessions were very kick back, not intense at all, and they followed on the heels of several very intense times together. Last week for part of our time together, we sat on T's couch side by side and watched Laurel and Hardy videos on his laptop. And laughed. I needed a break from the intensity. Then at last night's session I was ready to engage, ready for more, and we had a wonderfully connected and productive session, and went way below the surface and did some good work. It's the ebb and flow of therapy. chaotic, I hope you can go back to therapy when you're ready, tell your T what you need, and take advantage of what therapy with your T has to offer.

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I think my therapy was about helping my family not dealing with my past

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That actually made me a little sad to read that. Where is the "you" in all of this? I wish you could go to therapy to help "you" and not just your family. You are a great person and you deserve it.

Take care.