I'm glad you're feeling better now, Angie. When bipolar is part of our "mix" we always have to remember that our feelings can get quite strange but that they come back too. I know for myself, it can be triggered or just well up from a calm pond too.

So you describe feeling as though hovering between two feelings, and feeling confused and wondering why. Feeling two different states is confusing, and for the states themselves, wy just isn't a useful question for myself. My feelings often don't have a reason. Looking for one only adds to my confusion most of the time.

But something else you said sounds to me like you hold a key for living better with this. You said, "...but that's okay, cuz..." What about changing that to be, " I'm feeling (fill in the blank) AND I'm ok." I'm feeling depressed, and I'm ok. I'm feeling confused, and I'm ok. I'm feeling whatever i'm feeling, for whatever reason or for no reason, and I am a being who is far more than any thing I am feeling at any moment.

If you can get past how sort of trite that sounds, you may find a real useful tool there. None of us struggling against such fluctuations of feeling can afford to identify ourselves by those feelings.

The first time I was able to say that I was depressed "and" ok, I literally laughed out loud.