(((((((((((((((((((( Everyone ))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers over such an extended period of time. I love and miss you, but I see a bright light, closer than farther, now.

I'm here and doing OK. I'm one week post-surgery and doing pretty well, I think. My arm pain is almost completely gone. I still have numbness and weakness, but I actually have to feel for it now to notice it. I expect those to continue to improve. However, if they remained like this for life, it would be OK.

The surgery meds were strong and caused me to have some confusion/frustration after the surgery. I was tied up to something on every part of my body...a brace around my neck, oxygen in my nose, an IV in right arm, a BP cuff and pulse-ox on left arm, and then the inflatable cuffs for circulation around both legs. OK, so I have all this stuff on every extremity and they bring me a plate of food. I'm drugged up and famished and try to eat. Well...LOL...not a good idea. I barely remember it, but I guess I yelled about how rediculous that was then cried...LOL. I don't remember alot for several hours after the surgery because they gave me two of versid just prior to the surgery.

Outside of that funny thing that I barely remember (which is not one person's fault), I've never had such a pleasant hospital experience in my life. I stayed at a privately owned hospital in Dayton where the nurse patient ratio was/is 1:1. The night I stayed I got a back rub with lotion and was really catered to. It helped so much in the experience. I explained that I don't rest well in hospitals and they allowed me to do what I needed to do for me (mostly walk and pace) without even acting like it was strange/different. My nickname while I was there was "roadrunner". LOL! All the nurses were so encouraging and sweet. They were shocked that I was so active and didn't care to show it in a supportive way. I was told that most patients with my surgery stay 2-3 nights with them, but I was released the next day...doing very well.

Well, a couple of hours after I got home everything seemed to fall down on me. I realize now that the "good surgery drugs" they gave me stayed with me for over a day in that I had little pain, a weird energy, etc. When they wore off my pain was induced quite a bit and the swelling had increased in my neck (which is normal). It was very difficult to swallow and I had to be especially careful eating because sometimes it didn't want to go down due to the swelling. Most times some of the food wood stay lodged for a bit. That was a bit scary. That began relieving in a couple of days, though.

I see the surgeon on Monday for my follow-up and to find out what I can/can't do at that point post-surgery.

Right now I'm feeling pretty danged good and want to get my life back to where it was pre-surgery...which is a full three months ago. This has been a trip, three months of on/off again hell, so I'm glad to say goodbye to this period of time ASAP.

I have to get out of this hard neck brace and then get into some PT, then we'll just keep an eye on the fusion.

Mentally it's been very challenging, especially when I had the setback after the steroid shot. I'm doing OK, though.

I was doing some better a week or so prior to the surgery and weighed whether or not I should put it off. I quickly decided that I needed to follow through due to a few reasons:

1) I'd already had one setback after a period of thinking it might be OK.

2) The steroid shot would be wearing off completely soon if it hadn't already.

3) When it did wear off, I couldn't have more steroid injections due to severe reactions (I was told to get a medic bracelet for this, in fact).

4) I lived every day in fear that the pain would return full-force by even just sleeping.

5) I was entirely too limited by either the fear of pain, the pain itself, etc.

6) If I did put it off and the pain came back full-force, I couldn't have more steroids to help and it might be another three months before I could actually have the surgery. My body wouldn't tolerate three months of that. I'd have a heart attack or stroke. When my pain was at it's worst, my BP and heart rate were both scary.

I needed to follow through with the surgery, and put my fear of it aside to do what I needed to do for myself.

I appreciate your caring for me through this and keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I've counted on them and appreciate them so much.

Here in real life, my support has been wonderful as well. My family has been a dream...literally. My husband has been totally giving and doting. My mother and brother have stepped up to make sure David's OK and gets to school. My youngest seems so excited to be the MASSIVE help she's been to me...as she says is a small repayment of my caring for her throughout the pregnancy. I'm very blessed.

I miss y'all oh so much, but I'm back, slowly at first, but back FRIENDS.

Thank you again so much.

Love & Respect,

KD