> IMHO, If I need to "train" the T, then they're not helping me, i'm helping them and that is to me a boundary violation/inappropriate role
> reversal...

I notice that I am much more able now to control whether something is a boundary violation for me -- regardless of what the other person tries to do...

> That having been said, there may be very important reasons for staying with a T who isn't meeting all your needs.

It has been hard for me (still is) to decide how to handle the situation. I do learn in the process, largely on my own -- which can be an advantage. And finding another T -- not at all something I would look forward to. This guy is not a bad person, and I am not sure how much better I could find. My experience is that outstanding therapists do not grow on trees -- at least not on ones that grow anywhere I know.