Been spiraling down since the dissociative episode yesterday. Feeling extremely ashamed about yesterday's session. When I think of myself/my sexuality my feelings toward T, I feel bad. I discussed some of this yesterday and now I feel like crap. What was I thinking?

Sigh. I don't want to continue but I know I can't go back to where I was, so I feel as though this supposed therapeutic relationship will just continue on its painful course until it dies. I need a bath.