Not really. More like a dissociative trip back to my parent's house. That's where I went in session yesterday. T was awesome; he took the trip with me. It was interesting because although my internal experience was so intense, I sensed T's presence and safety the entire time. He just kept saying, "Stay with me.. you are safe.. you are okay.. you are here with me."

After I became a bit more grounded and actually had my eyes open, T reminded me that there was 10 minutes left in session and he wanted to work on something so that I wasn't leaving his office all dissociated an out of sorts. He said that we would do EMDR to a positive image.

He said that we were going to use the buzzers that you hold in your hands, but then he asked if I trusted him, and if it would be okay to use his hands. I told him yes. He pulled his chair closer and told me to cross my arms, the way that we do in EMDR. I closed my eyes and thought of a safe and plesant image (of me petting one of my parrots) while T tapped my hands, rather than using the buzzer/tapper things. T asked me to remember the way that it felt in order to help connect during the week and stay away from the SI. He said that he used the physical contact because he felt it would be a more grounded and connected experience for me. I was definitely more focused on the images, rather than his hands during the exercise.. I guess that's how you can tell the EMDR is working. I remember the feel of his hands tapping on mine, but I also remember the strong, positive connection I felt to my image and the colors that I was visualizing. I used the image again today, along with deep breathing when I had a very stressful moment at work.

I emailed him last night, thanking him for "taking the trip with me." He called me today and left a voicemail in response to that email. He said he was glad to hear from me, some other stuff that I can't remember (good thing I saved the msg), and then said to call or email anytime I need to.