it's like people don't understand just how hard it is to stop cutting. People tell me i'm just being a baby about it, and that i'm just making it seem hard.
but the temptation is killing me, i'm almost at 4 weeks, but it's getting harder and harder to NOT cut.

the only reason i'm going through this hell is because I want to keep my word to my boyfriend that I would try my hardest. I see him once a week, and at some point during that time he'll pull me aside and ask me to roll up my sleeve. it breaks my heart when i see his face when he looks at my arm, and when he gently traces my deepest cut that never fully will heal. he hasn't seen any new ones because i kept my word, but it still breaks my heart. I hate hurting him, and i need to do this for myself, as well as him.
It's been nearly a month, and the temptation keeps getting stronger. it seems the longer i go without cutting, the more depressed i become. i really can't take it anymore...