I haven't been in many serious relationships and being a survivor of rape from an early age: 13 (PTSD too) and now only 24: I have a question for those of you who would like to help me answer this:

For example I've been talking to a man who is about 45 minutes away from me, and met him the other night. I talked to him quite a bit while I was down visiting my twin in N.C. because that didn't go so well and found someone (oddly enough online). My twin and I did not get along well at all really; which is too bad, and I feel bad. I realize; however, it is not my fault or not mine alone. I don't like that she was constantly telling me to shut up and that everything I had to say was "b.s." or how she didn't want to hear it. She felt that because I was in her apt. she had the right to know who I was talking to at all times and about exactly what and was offended and mad if I didn't tell her what and even if I did tell her: half the time she didn't believe me anyway. It was one of those lovely "damned if you do; damned if you don't" sorta situations. Nothing seemed to go right unfortunately. My flight even got delayed to the point where the airlines had to put me in a hotel bc she was an hour away and all. To sum it up I didn't like being ripped down constantly and then asked to talk; because it seemed to me like I couldn't talk and then: what to say?

I've talked quite a bit: off and on for over the past 2 weeks with this man. We got talking and found that we had more in common than we thought (like we both have ptsd; but, his is from being in the army for a while and his bday is the day before mine despite being 6 yrs older)... which I find rather odd that our bdays are almost the same day.

I was actually surprised to hear from him yesterday. He called to see how my ECT treatment went and how I was feeling and all that; which I thought was rather sweet of him; because... I met him (which some may say is fast) but, we both feel very comfortable with eachother.

He works as a manager at a Motel 6 a little ways away and all. What I find odd (or maybe it's just shows that he is caring and compassionate) I honestly don't know or maybe PTSD is an "excuse" for buying a toy and what not (if you know what I mean and maybe being kinky or w/e?)...

He says he wants to buy me a sex toy for when we can't be together and to have more fun together too for insertion and maybe so he can watch. (blushes) Just never would've imagined getting one or using one for that matter. I have a hard time sometimes being comfortable with sex because of the whole being raped at a young age "thing." He also said I'd enjoy it too because I refuse to masturbate for that reason (because I don't feel right about it... not sure exactly why just know it has to do with the ptsd and being raped and those surrounding issues). So he said he wanted to buy me one...

What does everyone think? Is this odd? Am I overanalyzing or overreacting? Is there things I need to educate myself on about these things before even considering if I would like to get one?

Any comments or whatever you wish to leave that might help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in Advance, Danielle