A week before my surgery, I kept my little angel for the night...for one last time for a while.

He woke up in the middle of the night...being that he'd never stayed in this new house and it had been a while since I'd been able to keep him. For whatever reason, we were both up at about 2:30 a.m.

I didn't want to wake up his papaw or great grandpa, so we went out on the porch swing with it being a beautiful night.

I was sitting there and watched a car approaching our road (it's a pretty busy road that he was on) and I noticed that just before my road, it slowed way down. It turned down my road (we live on corner lot) and went incredibly slow in front of my house. I hair raised and senses alert.

It finally went on. About 3 minutes later I saw lights coming back up the road (our street is no outlet). I knew then that they'd not gone to anyone's house and was coming back. Fully alert, I watched the lights. I saw the lights turn off and thought, "Oh, it's probably the neighbor across the road's daughter and her bf." I almost dismissed it with that and thank God I didn't.

The car didn't turn into the driveway across the road, but had turned into ours. When I went to the end of the porch to look to our driveway, I immediate went into action when I saw a large man walking up our sidewalk and was only about 8 feet from me and the baby already!

I had the baby in my arms and immediately starting backing away saying, "Who do you want?" in an angry, demanding voice. Well, most people would stop to talk, clear up confusion, etc. This dude wasn't stopping and walking fast toward me and the baby.

I turned on my heels and began to walk quickly to the door not stopping to answer his, "I'm looking for someone." He was still coming and I could tell my his voice he was up on the porch.

I said there's no one there for him as I was getting inside my door and locking it. When I turned to lock the door he was only about three feet from me and my precious grandbaby...so close and had kept coming!!!

When I was shutting and locking door, he put his hand up to say, "No, no." as if he didn't want me to do that.

By the time I explained to my husband what had happened and he went outside, the guy was gone...that quickly.

THANK GOD I got up to check on those lights. Had I not, I wouldn't have known he was there until he was on me and the baby. This is a quiet suburban area, but there have been several break-ins lately.

Guys, I *know* this guy was up to no good by his body language. Why didn't he stop to chat when I confronted, obviously startled/angry? Why did he keep coming without missing a beat and walking quickly...gaining on me and the baby after I attempted to deter him? Oh, it just wasn't a good intent he had and it's still bothering me. The "what if" is getting to me. I know the "what if" is gone, but ugh.

I think it's bothering me so much more right now because I feel very vulnerable due to the surgery and brace. I just know that this guy was up to no good and thank God I'm as hypervigilent as I am.

I guess there are some plusses to PTSD or parts of it. The awareness to know when something, even small, might be yuck.

KD